Currently I am flourishing.
I wake up every day inspired to create. I feel free and alive. I am truly happy. I am filled with joy and gratitude. I know that I am helping others and inspiring them too. My asana practice has advanced to a level that I never dreamed I could get to. My connection to my practice is everything to me. I have tapped into a spiritual understanding and energy that I always knew was there, but didn’t know how to cultivate until now. I am breathing easier. My skin is glowing. My body feels amazing and looks better than it ever has. My relationships are stronger. I feel safe and I am finally at peace.
If you saw me last August you wouldn’t believe that the above was possible. You would have seen a scared, sad, hopeless little girl. You might not even believe that I was alive right now. Trauma had been building in me for a long time. I was numb. It felt like I was asleep for most of the last ten years of my life. Maybe longer…
It began when I was 13. That’s when I developed my first unhealthy, harmful coping mechanism. I plan to talk at length about the details of this addiction in the near future.
What was I coping with? Life. Trauma from my past lives. Trauma from my parents and their parents and many generations before my lifetime. I was born a very sensitive yet very intense child. I had a ton of energy and I was very perfectionistic. This is why I was a disciplined and successful gymnast.
I’ve always been strong, mentally and physically. I have a lot of will power and determination. I am extremely kinetic and I have more body awareness than most.
This can be a blessing and a curse. I feel everything. Being in tune with your body means that you feel more, the good and the bad, but you also have a stronger ability to move energy. For me, when my brain tells my body to do something my body knows somehow. My body is intuitive and has a mind of its own. My body has a gut brain and a heart brain. My mind and body are connected. I never realized how truly connected they are until last year.
Last year, I WOKE UP. I woke up from a 20 year slumber. There had been moments where I had started to stir around and see the light but nothing like last year. Last year I had to own all of my trauma, I had to be honest with myself about the numbing devices, I had copious amounts of pain to work through.
My practice did this. It woke me up, but it did it very strategically. Yoga is divine. So what I am saying is, the all knowing divine universe knew exactly how to rouse me the right way so that I could finally see the light. So that I could make it through the suffering and come out thriving on the other end. I trusted in this process and that’s why I am here now.
It is clear to me now that my purpose is to help others WAKE UP. See their light and illuminate from the inside. It’s not easy which is why I want to be of service. It takes a lot of support and trust and perseverance. I would love to guide and inspire others in this process.